


Mail Order Bride

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Accents, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Flirting, Getting Together, Mail Order Brides, Mild Sexual Content, Russian Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17489267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony knew as soon as he woke up that he'd done something stupid last night, but it would take a while for him to figure out just how bad it was. As far as mail order brides went though, Natalia was something of a god send.





	Mail Order Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for kink bingo: Accent kink. However my grasp on having a kink for a specific accent is... lacking, so this is my best try lol

Tony knew as soon as he woke up that he'd done something stupid last night, but it would take a while for him to figure out just how bad it was. He didn't think that he had anything out of the ordinary to worry about though, only the normal 'I got super wasted last night' problems. He groaned as he rolled over, hoping that drunk him had been a kind, considering person before collapsing on the bed and had left him a bottle of water.

He whimpered when he found nothing, turning his face into his pillow. It was times like these that he wished he had given Jarvis a body, because then he wouldn't have to get out of bed and hope that he was steady enough on his feet to reach a sink-- or a toilet if his stomach wasn't happy with moving. He laid there for a while, hoping that he'd go back to sleep, but that didn't happen. After a little more self-pity, he levered himself to a vaguely standing position and stumbled towards the bathroom. He almost cracked his head on the counter, but that was par for the course when he was hungover so he didn't worry about it. He sat on the toilet lid and laid his cheek against the cold counter, trying to gain the motivation to move enough to fill the cup with water. He'd slosh it all over himself, he knew, but that was the least of his worries.

After he'd chugged what felt like a gallon of water and taken aspirin then eaten, he tried to remember what he'd done the night before. These days when he drank it was because he was sad, so the usual consequence was a missing pint of ice cream or a littering of candy wrappers on the floor from where he hadn't cleaned it up.

Let's see, he'd been feeling lonely and spending time with the bots only made him feel worse. So he'd gone upstairs, grabbed a bottle and a large glass so that he wouldn't be drinking from the bottle but also wouldn't have to refill his glass too often. He'd put on a rom-com and hunted around for some chocolates, only to discover that he didn't have any. He'd cried a bit, but he could blame that on the alcohol if he needed the excuse. He didn't remember much after that. He was pretty sure he'd watched the movie to the end, but he didn't actually remember watching it. His memory started to get fuzzy right around the time the lead woman started to get interested in her love interest.

He checked his phone to make sure he hadn't called or drunk texted anyone, and found it clean. He breathed a sigh of relief and went on about his day.

In hindsight, he should have asked Jarvis for a recap of the night before.

* * *

Jarvis reminded him that he needed to go the airport, and Tony went with only mild confusion. He didn't remember needing to pick anyone up, but that was what he had Jarvis for after all: to remind him of the details he couldn't be bothered to remember. Jarvis told him the gate number, and told him that Miss Romanova would recognize him.

"Alright. Thanks buddy."

"Good luck sir."

Tony frowned, but there wasn't time for him to turn around and ask Jarvis what that was supposed to mean. Did he have a meeting he was supposed to be prepared for? He tapped out quick message to Pepper, asking if there was a big meeting he was supposed to go to in the next couple days. Her response had been, "No, for once. You asked for this week free."

He... did not remember doing that, but he wasn't going to tell her so. He thanked her then picked out a car, driving for the airport with something close to trepidation. He thought about it on the drive though, and by the time he arrived came to the conclusion that there was nothing waiting for him in there that he couldn't handle.

Tony walked to the baggage claim Jarvis had specified and waited, pulling out his phone after a minute to play a game. When he saw people starting to stand around to wait for their bags, he tucked his phone into a pocket, figuring that even if he didn't know who he was waiting for, it would be easier for her to find him if he wasn't hunched over hiding his face. Suitcases started to drop onto the conveyor, and it reminded him that he did not like flying commercial. Save the planet blah blah blah he didn't care. Nothing was worth this. Another wave of travelers showed up, but Tony didn't think anything about it. Until one of them came up to him of course.

She was indisputably gorgeous and had clearly dressed up a little rather than sticking to sweats like most others. She was wearing a black skirt that hugged her backside but flowed freely around her legs, and a white button-up blouse with dark flowers on it. Of course she could have been in a track suit and managed to look good. As evidenced by his relationships with Pepper, Rowena, and Charlie, he was partial to red hair, which she unfortunately fit the bill for as well. He thinks 'unfortunate' because he doubted this was a halfway across the world hook-up. "Tony?" she asked, accent shaping around his name even though she was trying to suppress it.

He nodded.

She pointed at herself. "Natalia." She held out her hand and adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. He absently noted that it looked stuffed to the brim.

Tony took it, shaking it for a few seconds before letting go. "Nice to meet you Natalia." He wondered if he could get away with asking her why they were meeting up without offending her. Fuck it, he needed to know what was going on. "Uh, listen. I don't remember why I'm meeting you."

Her eyes went wide, panicked. "But-" she fumbled with her backpack, pulling out her phone. She tapped on it frantically, pulling something up, then showed it to Tony. There, on the screen, was a conversation between the two of them.

He took the phone from her hand gently, and she let him. He scrolled to the top and started from the beginning. He asked why she wanted to come to America, she explained that it wasn't safe for her and added that she was learning English so she would be able to get a job and pay her way. Tony on the phone told her not to worry about that for a while and said he would take care of everything. Then he'd sent a message telling her her flight information because apparently he'd made a deal to marry this woman and it was only fair that he pay her way since she was leaving everything behind.

Jesus christ no wonder she looked terrified at the prospect of him not remembering. If he didn't re-agree to this, she had nowhere to go, and no way of taking care of herself. He nodded, trying to remain calm, and handed back her phone. "Okay. Not a problem." He shot her a smile he hoped was comforting.

"No problem?" she asked.

"Nope, no problem. We'll just wait for your bag and then go home." Home. God he was going to have to explain why he lived in a tower instead of an apartment or a house, then he was going to have to get a marriage license, then he was going to have to try and explain all of this to Pepper and hope that she didn't kill him. Oh no what if Natalia had allergies? Drunk-Tony of the past hadn't thought to ask her, and he didn't want another strawberry debacle to happen. Or worse, for her to eat something and then he had to bring her to the hospital and try to explain when he didn't even know her middle name.

Okay he wasn't doing so great on staying calm. But Natalia looked a little better, so he would count it as a win. "I can hold your backpack for you. If you want," Tony offered awkwardly.

She hesitated for a moment before handing it over carefully. Knowing that it was about half of her entire earthly possessions, that made sense. She'd probably decided that she could trust him with her bag if she was going to marry him. She darted forward a minute later when her duffel dropped into the feed, pulling it up and out without a problem.

"Do you want me to carry that?" Tony asked when she was close again.

She shook her head. "I carry bag. You carry..." She frowned at the backpack on Tony's shoulder, trying to remember the word for it. "This," she said, poking it.

"You got it. My car's this way," he said, nodding towards the exit.

Natalia took a bracing breath, then nodded, walking beside him as they left.

* * *

Natalia got settled in quickly, and her understanding of English was better written down than spoken, so for any involved questions she had, that's how they communicated. He showed her a guest room-- her room, now-- and the kitchen, letting her know that she had free run of all the food on the floor if she got hungry while he was gone.

"You leave?" she asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I need to get a few things done. Here's my number if you need to contact me." He hadn't brought up Jarvis yet, guessing that she'd want to sleep off some jet lag before trying to understand everything his existence meant. He knew this was a green card marriage, but no one else would know that (hopefully), so he needed to buy rings and figure out if he could get a marriage license without knowing her middle name. He guessed not, but it was worth looking into while he was out.

All things considered, the wedding went smoothly. Sure they had to hire a witness since Natalia didn't have anyone and Tony was going to put off telling anyone he knew for as long as possible, but Pepper didn't show up while they were signing the certificate and rip the pen out of Tony's hands, so he considered it a win.

It was underwhelming actually, that nothing dramatic happened. They signed, exchanged rings, and Tony gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You want to go out for lunch?" he asked, feeling that they should mark the occasion in some way.

Natalia lit up. "Hamburger and ice cream?"

He'd been thinking more along the lines of some upscale bistro, but he wasn't going to say no to burgers.

* * *

They'd been married for a while now, and they were undoubtedly growing closer. She'd invited him to call her Natasha, and ever since then she'd started flirting with him. Well, maybe flirting was too timid a word for what she was doing. It was more touch him all the time, press her breasts up against him when leaning around him to grab something, give him bedroom eyes, and talk like she was simulating sex. Okay the last two were up for debate, especially the last one since every time Tony heard her accent he just about creamed in his pants like a fourteen year old. But the first two were solid, he felt.

They were watching Sleeping Beauty, partially for fun and partially to help her with her English even though she didn't need the extra help these days. She was watching the opening credits, humming along with the music when Tony came in. He sat beside her, spreading his legs to fit the gigantic bowl of popcorn in the space between his thighs. He snagged a couple pieces before Natasha stole the bowl from him. Not surprising, but generally she waited a little longer into the movie to do it.

What he was definitely not expecting, was for Natasha to replace the bowl with herself, snuggling back against him and grabbing his hands to place them on her thighs. Her bare thighs because she was dressed for bed, and her bed clothes were an overly large shirt with underwear and nothing else. If Tony blushed at that, well, there was no one around to see it.

Natasha hummed happily. "Much better, yes Antoshka?"

"Warmer," he said as a replacement for agreeing.

"Much." She grabbed the popcorn bowl, setting it in her lap and shoving a handful into her mouth.

Tony forced himself to relax, leaning back comfortably into the couch. This had the side effect of making Natasha something like a human blanket, which was equal parts lovely and anxiety-inducing. Especially when she talked throughout the movie, her mouth curving around the pronunciation of English words in a way that shouldn't have even been noteworthy but instead made him feel a little tight in his jeans.

He held his breath and hoped that Natasha wouldn't notice. Even when she shifted, she didn't pause like she'd felt it. The movie started to come to an end, and Tony thought that, miraculously, he'd managed to escape detection. But then Natasha didn't get up, she just leaned further back, setting the back of her head on Tony's shoulder. "I thought you did not like me at first. Perhaps, not attracted to women, no? But," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "there are pictures with women. In love with another? But no, your eyes do not wander. So I think, what can I do? How can I have your..." she licked her lips as she tried to think of the correct word, settling on, "attention? Then, so simple. You listen when I talk, so if I continue to talk, I will win your love." Her brow furrowed. "Not right word, but close. And then I see: what I say, it makes no difference. You listen. I finish, and you leave for a while, and come back flushed and relaxed. So maybe, I help this time?"

Tony swallowed, trying to keep his cool. It was a tough battle since apparently she not only knew he was interested in her, but was offering to 'help him out'. "Uh. You don't- you don't have to do that."

She frowned up at him. "Antoshka. I know I do not have to do this. I do not have to stay with husband if I do not like him. I... want you. I thought you felt same." She sat up, leaving Tony's front feeling decidedly cold, and turned to look at him. "I was wrong?"

"No, no you weren't wrong," Tony hurried to assure her. "I just thought you might feel pressured, since we're married, and I wanted to let you know that you don't have to do that if you don't want to. I'd thought you didn't, but now it sounds like you do."

Now that Natasha knew she hadn't misunderstood, she gave him a flat look. "Tony. I wore... shorts." She wrinkled her nose as she gestured to the top of her thigh, where her short-shorts had cut off. "It is not Rossiya cold, but it is not summer. They were tight and uncomfortable. And you did not look at me."

"I wanted you to be comfortable wearing what you liked," he said defensively. "I didn't want to stare."

"You need to stare," she said, glaring at him a little, but there was enough of a smile around her mouth that he knew she was joking. She crawled back into his lap, legs going on either side of him so she was straddling him. When he didn't immediately put his hands on her-- still too worried about this miraculously being a misunderstanding to act and screw it all up-- she grabbed his wrists and placed them on her hips. She put her arms around his neck and leaned forward, bumping their noses together before kissing across his cheek to his ear. "Kotyonok ty dolzhen potselovat' menya."

Tony had been working on learning Russian, but he didn't know enough to understand what she said. It didn't really matter though, because with her breath ghosting over his ear and the rumbling timber her voice had taken as she spoke her mother tongue was enough to make Tony turn his head and claim her mouth in a kiss. "I hope whatever you said was good," Tony whispered against her lips.

Her mouth curved into a smile and she gave him a quick peck. "Why did you kiss me if you did not know?"

"I like the way your voice sounds," he said, nudging her head back so he could kiss along her neck. Lick at the soft skin he'd been eyeing for a while.

"Does that mean I still talk when you kiss me?" she asked breathlessly, hand threading through his hair.

His cock twitched in his pants. "Yeah, yeah if you want."

**Author's Note:**

> I used google translate for her one line of Russian, and no, I don't want to be corrected if it's wrong


End file.
